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our mothers and grandmothers were not able to break free

Our mothers and grandmothers were not able to break free.

They were not able to recognise patterns of narcissism and codependency and gaslighting, they were not able to undo patterns of addiction, low worth and total disconnection from their feelings, they were not able to dive through trauma with recovery and therapy tools like somatic therapy, crystal healing, energy activations, (and the many other hundreds or thousands of modalities on the market, with more and more emerging on a daily basis) they were not able to understand they could make money, be free, become empowered, love themselves so deeply so that they could magnetise healthy love, to not use love to fill but be full within. they were not able to understand any of this let alone spot it and start to heal it.

It is not a simple path to start to undo all this and to redo it all to a new way

It is layer after layer, gate after gate, trauma after trauma and sometimes it seems that the deeper we go the more we unearth

especially in tumultuous times when it is all coming up

we may be forced to be alone for long periods of time to know ourselves so deeply and to find god who is within us

or we know it is time to come out of the cave and to receive love

we need to find balance in everything

to know when to deep dive into the depths

and when to lighten up and play on the surface

balance to know when to give generously and share our leith with others and when to hold things close in our self preservation, worthiness, self respect and love

to know when to say yes and when to say no

and as we walk through these gates, the truth is that none of these wondrous tools we now have at our fingertips will or can do anything to help, until the time is ripe. We can spend years trying to heal something in our bodies and it is not shifting and then one day the relationship breaks up or the job is lost or whatever it is that goes, and then quite miraculously the ache or pain is gone, in the blink of an eye and all the while we realise it was that which was causing the trauma 

and yet all that other deep soul digging and madly practise was not in vain for it gave us the tools to navigate our way through the unhappy experiences to get to the point where we were finally ready, in the ways that our mothers and grandmothers never were able to be

to remind us that our deep sorrows and pains, resentments hurts angers longing loneliness, is just a part of the wheel

For on this path we are told we need to stand in the centre of the wheel, patriarchal spirituality calls this mastery of emotion which can even be denial and repression of emotion, disassociation or escapism in the name of spirituality, but in the way of the feminine we embrace the emotion, we allow the feeling. And ironically it is the very act of allowing ourselves to feel that pain, that enables us to sit in the centre of the wheel to be free of all of it. But the goal cannot be to be free from it, the goal is simply to allow ourselves to feel it and not spend our life running from it

Our mothers and grandmothers ran

and we cannot blame them

for it was not safe for them to feel

it was not allowed and it was not accepted

they were caught in webs of cultural expectations, money, health, security that kept them tied into emotional bondage in turn the only way for them to reclaim a nuance of a sense of power was through manipulation and control, the toxic feminine is the wounded feminine the toxic masculine is the wounded masculine

he knows not what he does 

she knows not what she does

and so now 

for our mothers and grandmothers, for our fathers and grandfathers

for our future children to pass onto them the codes

the codes of abundance, the codes of health, the codes of healthy union

we do the inner work

and it is not an easy task

Yes when all is ripe, then healing happens in the blink of an eye

but until then, we plough on

dedicated to finding that root

doing the work

gathering the tools to light our way

modality after modality

prayer after prayer

meditation after meditation

each one another little step

and it is not a quick path

the medicine some take which takes one to the top of the mountain quickly, often spews you out at the bottom again

so it is always better to slowly go up one step at a time

one step at a time

one step at a time we slowly learn how to listen again

how to love

how to feel

and each gate and each layer, there is more pain, trauma, stress, drama, and often it seems the deeper we go the harder it gets

because we get closer to the root

we are going there, into the feeling

and so when one gets close, it can be raw

but in this whole process

the gifts at each gate are also great:

hearing the souls whispers, accessing the higher realms, communion with the body, learning to spot the initiations, the tests, the lessons saying ‘you got this time around?’ learning to spot the narcissist, the gaslighting, the projections, taking full responsibility and self honesty, recognising the poverty and victim modes and drama roles and traumas (which absolute worth and forgiveness)

to come into deep deep wisdom

and the great joy and freedom

yes joy that comes from freedom

from wisdom


what is freedom?

being able to do what we want when we want

and to know that we can

we can

for our mothers our grandmothers, our fathers and our grandfathers, who could not

and for our children, who will

and for ourselves

we lead the way

we create new webs

new grids

new realities

and so we plough on through the layers

because we can do this

we are

and we can

my deepest reverence is for every single one of you walking this very deep and often difficult path back to wholeness

that you know that you must

that is your calling

may you remember

you can do it

and you do it for all

you got this

and you are so held and loved and supported by so many

far more than you can ever imagine

not just by your entire teams of spirit guides

and your soul families and lineages

and your past life families from thousands of previous lives on this and other planets

but also the entire generation after generation of ancestors in this life tree, all the way back to the beginning of time

they have all have got your back, and are with you cheering you on

every single little step of the way

for this is the time of the prophecy

and so you understand and remember

how each simple meditation or healing or prayer or therapy session

each time you sit with trauma or pain, loss loneliness,

each and every struggle

and each and every leap and breakthrough in money or love or health

has far more impact on the world right now

than anything you can ever imagine

as you step into abundance and dance the new codes into your being

you create a frequency, a frequency that is a revolution

you create a ripple of abundance in the grids of the world

as you do it for self, you do it for all

that is how important it is you become abundant

and free

for your mothers and grandmothers who could not

and so the children can

dear one, as you heal yourself

you really do heal the world

and slowly your mothers and grandmothers

fathers and grandfathers

start to smile

for you see

you do it for them

you free them too

and change the stories

because you can

and so remember that if you want to change the world

then first go within

blessings, love to all xxx

if you want gentle guidance please do join us in temple


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